Where am I?… locating yourself is the first step.
Recognize where you are, especially when you’re under stress, feeling anxiousness or the tidal pull of habit. “You have to be somewhere to go somewhere” (Kari Margolis) is good acting advice, and good life advice. Where you are right now is probably quite familiar once you pause and take it in.
In my previous blog I described RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture/Non-attachment), a mindfulness practice for stress reduction. Let’s start by unpacking the R (recognize) – and finding the connection to our Alexander process.
If you are feeling lost in an emotion or feeling an all too familiar pain in your body, try this 3 point process:
Pause and recognize where you are.
Name the place (I am on the subway, I am in the kitchen, I am on the sidewalk, I am at my desk… you get the idea).Now continue recognizing, getting more personal and specific.
Recognize the feeling in your shoulders? Is it a tight, burning tension? Or is it like a cold brick? Is the sensation in your stomach a cramp or a flutter? Or is there a tightness in your chest?… breathe with it and describe it.Name the feeling or emotion that goes with the sensation
Naming will help you recognize. (This is dread, this is regret, this is anticipation…)
And yes, you do have time for this – emotional states of being do change, but not in a hurry. Can you let go of seeking comfort or numbness for a few more minutes? This takes a bit of courage –you’ve got it.
Have you noticed that pain and fear are the close companions of empathy and compassion? Recognizing your fallible humanity strengthens your connection to others. You are directing kindness to yourself by not turning away from the feelings - not pretending you aren’t exactly where you are.
"Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves”.
(Pema Chödrön).
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash. . Photo by Artur Rutkowski on Unsplash